You don't understand
by Kiimarii
Summary: America comes to visit his old friend, England. His misdemeanor has always been harsh, but something just isn't right.


The commotion of the day started to come to an end as Britain sat in his favorite armchair with a cup of tea in one hand, a copy of his favorite book occupying the other. Completely content in his alone time, suddenly there was an obnoxious bang at his door. Followed by two more before the door could be heard opening. And even from way down the hall, Arthur could hear his voice."Yo, Britain! Where ya at, dude?" He slowly sat down his tea, face finding it's way to his palm."Bloody hell, America! What do you want at this time of evening?"Even during the response, he could hear obnoxiously loud footsteps headed his way, and soon a presence in the doorway.

"What? I can't come chill out for awhile? How un-awesome of you!"

"I was perfectly fine 'chilling out' on my own, Alfred."The got an annoying laugh as the younger nation took a seat across from him."Never say that again, British dude. You sound so stuffy and old!"England slowly marked his page in his book and set it down on the table, slumping into his chair while looking over to America."So really... Why idid/i you come here, Alfred?"

"I just wanted to hang out for a little while... I mean, it seems like we don't talk outside of business at all anymore. It's totally not hero-like at all." Arthur opened his lips to say something, cut off by a clash of thunder. His eyes wandered to the window, sighing at the beginning rain, slumping further into the chair, feeling America's eyes on him the whole time."What's the matter Britaaiinnn? Afraid of a little bit of raiiinn?"His words were so teasing it almost made the senior blush."I'm not afraid of anything, i'll have you understand. I just don't enjoy the rain."

"What? You used to love the rain!"

"To be completely honest..."Arthur's eyes heavied a bit, drooping some as he looked to America, who seemed to notice immediately the change in atmosphere."I haven't loved the rain in quite some time."There was a notable pause, almost in time itself, as America and England sat there, the rain pouring harder and harder."England... You mean since-"

"-Yes. I mean since exactly when you think."America gave an awkward sort of chuckle."Come on, man. That was so long ago."

"No, America."England looked up to him again, his eyes with a small tinge of glassiness."It was much, much sooner than you seem to recognize."The made America stand, emotions jumbled together."You have to get over that someday!"He didn't mean to yell, truthfully. It just came out. England seemed taken aback before he too stood, still small in comparison to the younger nation."Get over it? I have to get over it? You don't understand Alfred! You'll never understand!"

"I understand just fine, Arthur. Perfectly freaking fine. I'm not yours anymore, and you can't take the reality of it. I understand PERFECTLY."The words were growled out, anger beginning to override all other emotions."NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"Arthur's voice exploded as harshly as his tears, which now flowed down his cheeks from pained emerald eyes. He pushed America to the floor, straddling him.

"You've never understood! How do you think I felt those years you put me through that? How do you think it was for me on that final day! You don't care. You don't understand and you don't care. RIGHT when I FINALLY thought I found a relationship that couldn't be broken, a brother that actually CARED. He was gone just like that. You were gone in the blink of an eye, and you didn't care."Alfred just watched and listened in shock as England went on, feeling his slender fingers curl against his shirt,watching those eyes squeeze shut with all their force.

"The whole time. The WHOLE BLOODY TIME. You were too focused on being your own country, on proving to me you could and you would be INDE-FUCKING-PENDANT. I know, trust me, I know at some points I was pretty selfish too. But the truth of it is, Alfred. I love you. I loved you then, and I couldn't love you any more now. All those times you saw me as being strict, I was PROTECTING you! From all the other countries. I know I failed sometimes, and I hated myself for it. Hated that I couldn't be the big brother I wanted to. Hated that for some reason, I wasn't enough. And you know what, Alfred? You put me through hell. You, in the midst of all the chaos around you, decided to JOIN IT. The chaos that I put my own life on the line to protect you from. You put me through hell. I know I wasn't the best big brother. But you, you never cared."

Britain's tears never ended, choking on sobs throughout his words, slowing down at the end. His eyes slowly opened, looking down at the shocked figure below him sadly."And truthfully, Alfred Jones, I wish you shot me while you had the chance."It took America a moment to get his head together, slowly sitting up and pulling England close, putting a hand to his back and a hand to his hair, holding him close."A-Arthur... I didn't have a clue..."

"You're right."England pulled away and got up, trembling violently, causing him to lean weakly on the wall."You didn't have a clue. Because you didn't care. I still doubt you'll ever care. And the thing is, no matter what, I can't help but love you with all of my heart and soul."He paused a moment and wiped his eyes."What an idiotic git I am."With those final words, Arthur escaped upstairs. Leaving America to sit up, staring at nothing. Sooner or later, his fist made harsh contact with the floor, body shaking in silent cries, as realization of the events hit him like a summer monsoon."I do care... Oh god, I do care... Arthur Kirkland... I love you too... More than you'll ever realize."


End file.
